Diary of a Pilgram
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Medjugore Diary

Dear Pam:

Sunday, August 3, 1997

I was saying a rosary at the site of the apparitions on the mountain today and the idea came to me to keep a diary for you. I can see the apparition mountain from my room. The door is wide open. Nobody closes or locks doors around here. I don't even worry about the kids being outside at 2:00 A.M.

We arrived at Jax airport friday to find the Delta computers were down. Some seating assignments were lost. Flight was late but the pilot made up the time in the air. Computers were also down in Atlanta - flight late. After 4 flights we arrived in Split, Croatia on time only to find the other group's flight was late. We waited for them on the bus over an hour. Keystone to Medjugorje was over 25 hours - very exhausting.

Our rooms are simple but lovely (kind of like you would picture in a convent.) We and the Evans have 5 of the 6 rooms on the top (3rd) floor. Each room has a large crucifix.

We arrived in Split and I forgot to mention, the bus drive was 3 hours and took us along breathtaking mountain roads overlooking the Adriatic Sea. It was really beautiful. We arrived in Medjugorje in the evening (Sat.) and they had dinner for us. I stepped out on the patio looking for the dinning room and there was Vicka talking on a portable phone in the yard! She smiled and said hello.

And now what I can't wait to tell you. The Blessed Mother didn't waste any time. After dinner it was about 10:30 and all the adults were ready to crash. David, Sarah, Cara and Mark said they wanted to take a walk. We tried to talk them out of it because we thought they would be exhausted. But they had slept on the plane and insisted. Ed, Leah and I went to our room and Douglas to his. Ed and Leah immediately zonked. I was in the bathroom undressed, ready to shower. I was feeling very tired (25 hr. travel) and a little depressed. I was hoping that after the grueling travel that this would be worth it. I heard a knock ot the bathroom door and a  very emotional "Mom, mom!" There stood David with tears streaming down his face. My first reaction was "What did you see?" He said "Mom, you have to come. Mary's crown is in the sky." I threw on clothes and shoes (no underwear or socks). David and I ran up the mountain, slipping and tripping on loose rocks. David has a flashlight because there's no electricity up there. When I got there nothing was left but a wisp of clouds. Our four kids, our priest and some Japanese pilgrims had seen it. I forgot to say, David said it looked like hundreds of sparklers. Mark kept saying "Mom don't you believe us?" I said "of course I believe you. But it was meant for you, not me." We waited about 10 minutes. I've never seen the kids so excited. We yurned to go and (it had been an absolutely cloudless sky except for the wisp). Mark looked up and said, "Where'd those clouds come from?" Three huge, white fluffy clouds joined together and formed a perfect dove. It lasted about a minute and then just vanished. The clouds did not float away, they just vanished. The sky was crystal clear as it had been before. With no electicity around, the stars are brilliant on the mountain. Needless to say, I got very little sleep for the second night. I had just been assuming the dove stood for the Holy Spirit but today we sang at mass "Mother Mary, gentle mother, perfect dove."

Monday, August 4, 1997

We haven't been here 48 hours yet and the kids are walking around saying rosaries, going alone up the mountain to pray. Sarah wants to know what time morning Masses are. (We're still praying for Jimmy.) Leah keeps saying "See, I told you we would have a miracle." Last night was our second "gift" from Our Lady. Our tour group had a meeting at 7:00 and it was announced that it's very rare but the Blessed Mother told Vicka she wants our group present in the apparition room this Thursday. The group leader said it doesn't happen very often. Mary is going to bless our religious articles (your rosaries) and she wants us to write down our prayer petitions and place them at her feet. Number one on my list will be that your family can come here. Needless to say, we were all hugging and in tears when we heard this announcement. We'll go to confession before then.

This place truly is the place where Heaven meets earth. You wake up in the morning to roosters crowing and groups of pilgrams on the path saying rosaries in all languages. We've heard Spanish, French, Croation, German, and English. It is so neat, you can pick it up, because you know what they're saying. Ed says everyone looks so peaceful here. I didn't notice it so much as before Mass yesterday. At 11:00 was the Croation Mass and the English Mass was at 12:00. As the poor croation people were coming out of their own church, we 'rude' pilgrams were crowding the doors waiting to get in. Instead of looking annoyed, they just had these sweet, serene faces and one after another smiled at us. Amazing!

Last night Judy took several of the kids and they took their flashlights and joined a group making the stations of the cross on Cross Mountain.  She said I would have been so proud of Mark. He read the prayers at three of the stations. They didn't get back until 3:00 am. I was getting a little worried. Night three - very little sleep. Cara's sore.

While they were climbing, Ed and I went to Eucharistic Adoration outdoors behind St. James Church. It was the most beautiful Adoration I've ever attended. (Hauntingly beautiful music). Judy said they could hear the music on the mountain. There were thousands of teens, some kneeling on the gravel, some with their arms extended in prayer. I have to admit, tears just streamed down my face. In fact, I've done alot of crying here. Tears (good tears) seem to be a part of this place.

This morning Vicha made us French toast, Dosen't that sound funny? We've had wounderful meals. Lot's of homemade bread, soups, olive oil salads, homemade potatoes, chicken, pork. (We had prepared the kids for beans and rice!) I had warned them no complaining at the table and instead they're eating like pigs.

Our group's spiritual director, Fr Terry is very nice, young and good with the kids. By the way, we saw Fr. Slavko from a distance this morning. . . got to nap now.

When you get up in the morning here, you don't even think about what you're going to wear. It becomes so clear how unimportant all that stuff is. All garbage, really.

Tuesday, August 5

We went to Mass and confessions. I think today is the day Mary said was her birthday. Kids got in late again last night. I've been getting 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night. Douglas comes in at night with funny stories about the kids he's meeting from all over the world.

Last night at supper a woman from our group came in with a photo of Jesus with a doctor. It was supposed to be one of those miraculis photos. I don't know if it was real or not. But out of 45 people in our group, she turned and handed it to David. She said, "I don't know your name, but this is for you." David's mouth fell open. I asked him if he had been praying about what to be and he said, "you don't know how much!" That sort of thing seems to be happening all the time here.

Last night after supper Mark, Leah, Ed and I climbed Cross Mountain and prayed at the stations of the cross. The view of Medjugorje and St.  James's Church is fabulous up there. I took some pictures with your camara.

The shop keepers around here are something. If you don't have the right change or enough money, they say "Keep it. Pay me tomorrow." or "It's a gift."

We just got back from Apparition Hill. We said a family rosary under the stars. It was nice. Everyone, including all kids have been to confession. Sarah says the first thing she'll do in college is join the Catholic group. Jimmy just said a rosary with Judy in their room. Douglas wants to go to Cross Mountain for 5:00am Mass, walking barefoot (which we will not let him do). Mass, yes - barefoot, no - and he says he will live here after college. David used his own money to buy 20 rosaries to have blessed to give away to friends.

Coming down the mountain tonight we heard many choruses of "Happy Birthday" to the Blessed Mother coming from church. Also from some of the homes around here.

I never mentioned, we all walk to Mass every morning through vineyard and cornfields. I had my confession in a field under the stars. It's a different world here. The pennances are funnt, too. Jimmy has to climb Apparition Mountain and Judy is supposed to "be happy."

Weds. August 6

Last night Judy and I talked until late in her room. She said she thinks the kids are so happy here because they have never been exposed to so much goodness. I think she's right. I think the charm of Medjugorje is not the "miracles" but the kindness and serenity of the people, the praying and singing you always here coming form one house or another, the peace. Every time I've been in a foreign country I thought "It;s nice but the U.S.A. is the best." Right now I dread having to come back to the fast pace. We're so happy here with a small bed, a tiny night stand and one towel (no wash cloth or face towel). There's no fashion statement made (nobody cares). Judy feels she's being strongly called to gather funds for a mission in Africa. Her confessor asked her to. I'll let her tell you the details. I feel I really would like to do something too but I don't know what.

Every day brings a suprise. We went to see Fr. Jozo. Remember he's the one when the children went running from the communist police and knocked on the rectory door, he heard "Protect the Children." He was the priest in the movie "Gospa." When we got there we found out today was his 30th aniversary of ordination. The Church was packed. They asked Leah to present Fr. Lozo with a large boguet of roses and say "Thank you for 30 years." He seemed so surprised and moved. He gave a good talk and then asked everyone to line up for blessings of laying on hands. They asked Douglas to be one of the "catchers." I had no idea what he was talking about. I thought he was going to start throwing something. Then he and several other preists began laying hands on people's heads for the blessing. Fr. Jozo took our section. Then I realized what was going on, As Fr, Jozo layed on his hands, one person after another fell unconscious. The "catchers" were catching people. I then remembered reading that about him, about falling from the power of the Holy Spirit. I would have never believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. If these hadn't been just ordinary people, I would have said it was an act. Fr. Jozo got closer and closer. My kids eyes got bigger and bigger. Two out of three people fell to the floor and remained unconscious for several minutes. I have to admit I was scared. Then Fr. Jozo was called out of the church and another priest blessed us. Judy, Mark and Cara said they felt a powerful lightness in their heads and chests. The rest of us didn't feel anything. In fact as soon as the priest took his hands off my head, Mark turned to me and said "Wow mom, did you feel that?!!" I didn't.

Thursday, August 7

Last night I went to bed and actually sobbed at the thought of leaving here. I prayed "God, don't make us go back." Most of the group feel the same.

Today on the way to morning Mass I told Judy to make sure she noticed how beautiful the inside of the Tabernacle is. I had noticed it twice when the Tabernace was open after Communion. They have it painted to look like luminous clouds in the sky but with a kind of irridescent paint. You would swear you were looking out a window or a skylight.   After Mass Judy said, "Patti, It's just a plain Tabernacle. Nothing unordinary at all." Mark said, "No! They have clouds in it. How do they do that?" Doesn't it just give you chills? It's amazing to be experiencing this. We're just ordinary people. We are all having different experiences. One sees it or feels it, one sees or feels something else.

I just know you'll get here one day.

More than the supernatural signs though is just the peace.

It's 2:30. We're going to the apparition room (which I believe is our dinning room) at 4:45. Douglas and Jimmy just left to go up the mountain barefoot to pray. Fr. Terry said we should let them if they feel called to do it.

Friday, August 8

Leah has made herself known to Vicka. We were in the apparition room around five yesterday and Vicka was giving a talk. Her little niece ran in yelling "Leah! Leah!" (They had become friends). Vicka pointed our way and said, "Leah." She led us in a rosary and then a couple minutes before 6:40, she asked us to clear a space for her to kneel - right in the middle of the seven of us! (we were around 40 people in the room.) Ed and Cara faced her, Douglas was at her left arm, Mark, David and I were immediatly behind her and Leah was fidgeting at her right. The wall in front of her had a crucifix on it. We were praying aloud and then she fell to her knees with such a thud on the tile floor. I don't know how she doesn't break her knee caps doing that daily! Then  for about five minutes it was exactly as you see in the videos. Vicka animatedly conversed with Our Lady. You could hear her inhaling but couldn't hear one sound of voices.

Afterwards, Vicka told us Mary had prayed with her arms extended over us for a long while, then she blessed all the religious articles in the room. I had your rosaries with me. Then her message to us was sad. She said she had no new messages for us, that she has been giving messages for 16 years and nobody is listening. She said to begin living the messages and to go in God's peace. Afterwards Vicka hugged each one of us. We were walking back to our bedrooms and Douglas' shoulders began shaking with sobs. He was so moved: he said, "How can people just be talking and laughing at a time like this?" He missed dinner while he got his composure in his room.

Today we took a bus and distributed food and clothes to war refugees living in box cars about 9 miles from Medjugorje. Those poor people. We did have one laugh though. Mark had worn his dirty shirt. I told him, "Mark, I know we're wearing clothes for the second time around, but couldn't you have found a cleaner shirt than that?" While we were distributing things, someone from the other pilgrim gorup handed Mark a care package of soap, toothpaste, etc. Mark turned to me and said, "Why did she hand this to me?" Boy did we laugh. We said, "because you look like one of the refugees, Mark!"

Another weird thing just happend. If you notice page 13, I ran out of ink. It was my only pen, so Judy gave me a marker. (I just hate writing with markers.) We went down to dinner and the lady who had given David the picture walks up to me and hands me a pen with an angel on it.

Judy and I were discussing how interesting to hear all Vicka's stories first hand. It was all the things we had read about for years. She must have told the stories hundreds of times and yet she tells them with a freshness and enthusiasm like she was telling them for the first time. I think thats a miracle. Her cousin was translating and she was saying things like "our grandmother told Vicka to throw holy water on the apparition in case it was the devil." and then they would laugh. It was all so natural it was hard to believe they were discussing the supernatural. Vicka said Our Lady said one day she was going to show them Heaven, Hell and Purgatory. Jacco (then nine years old) got scared and said to her "Couldn't you just take Vicka?" and they laughed again.

Vicka said, "I thought we were going on a long journey" and she laughed. She said they were there in an instant. I just can't describe her, so natural, so loving, not a speck of make-up but her face just glowes when she talks. She looks at you with so much love, it feels like she's looking into your very soul. Ed said when the apparition ended, her eyes went up just like in the videos and then she shut them and prayed a while. She turned to Ed and he said, "Thank you" and she grabbed his  hand and said, "God bless." She then went outside where she gave each one of us a hug. You know, we're staying in her house, and she has people constantly outside trying to see her. We come out and they stop us to ask us if she's inside. We tell them we don't know where she is and they get so mad. Yet she remains sweet and pleasant. No one could keep this up for 16 years if it wasn't from God. People that say they just wanted fame haven't seen her working in a hot kitchen to help make the meal for 20 people. They haven't seen the humble clothes she wears jeans and shirts. And they haven't seen her peace.

Speaking of peace, I still have a long way to go. I just yelled off the balcony at Leah and Vicka's niece (they're outside) for screaming. She's a cute blond little girl. But there are beautiful strains of guitar and singing coming from the next house.

Vicka's cousin has been our translator this whole trip. She's so honest. She said for so long she was jealous because Mary chose Vicka and not her. But then she said through prayer, God made her realize that He uses each person in His own way. So she felt she could help spread the messages by being a translator for the pilgrims

Yesterday we met Ivan at his house and he spoke to us a while. Leah played on his little boy's swing set. He married a girl from Boston. He said he's been going to Our Lady's school for 16 years now and there are no weekends off and he still has so much to learn. He's so different from Vicka, kind of moody looking. Vicka's cousin said all six visionaries are all so different, it proves how God uses all people. I don't know if we'll get a chance to meet Jacoo or not. They say he's very shy and refuses to discuss Heaven, Hell and Purgatory. He married a beautiful Italian girl, and Ivan married a former Miss Massachusetts. The other three visionaries no longer live in Medjugorje.

Living in this house seems so much like one happy, extended family. Andy McReynolds goes out and organizes a ball game in the field with the kids. There's a little outdoor cafe' up the hill and the kids run up for Cokes. Just now we're done with dinner and several people are outside because it's cooling off. We're in our room and Douglas took one of Leah's stuffed animals and tied shoe laces on it and lowered it off our balcony onto the head of Frank DiPaula who's reading on the balcony below ours. Frank jumped a mile and yelled, "You stinker!" We were laughing so hard. It's amazing how the kids can entertain  themselves without television. And they're so happy. You talk about five kids who have taken summer vacations on cruise ships and fancy beach condos, and we bring them to a tiny village in the middle of corn fields and vineyards, surrounded by nothing but mountainss and they are so happy. Douglas said so earnestly to me last night, "Mom, we have to come back here." You take Sarah and Jimmy who were still fusing at Judy the morning we left Keystone because they did not want to go to Medjugorje and they love it here and wany to come back next summer. I have not heard one single fight among the kids now in seven days

Now that is a miracle!

Not much more better happened. I'm running out of paper (unless that lady gives me a tablet tomorrow). Something stuck me so funny tonight. Ed and I were having a couple beers under the pictures of "Jesus I Trust in Thee." Where in the U.S. would you have a picture of Jesus in a bar?

We had a surprize tonight. We went up on the mountain after dark to join Ivan's prayer group and he had an apparition. I never dreamed I'd be at one, let alone two. He said Our Lady came very joyfully, said, "Blessed be Jesus" and held her hand over the crowd and prayed over us longer than usual. She said "Walk with God, pray for the conversion of sinners." Then she left in a flash of a white cross. I took your camera and aimed it at the night sky where he was looking, so don't throw a black picture away if you get one.

Sat. August 9

It's our last day here. At breakfast Cara said, "Can I ask Vicka if she'll let us stay another week. "

We just got back from Mass of course everybody is looking now everytime the Tabernacle is open. It is sort of a varigated gray metal but none of us saw it as much as Ed had. He said that one day it was actually blue sky and white clouds. His confessor had told him it was the main responsibility of a father to bring Jesus to his family. So Ed interpreted what he saw to reinforce that Jesus (in the Tabernacle) is the door to Heaven.

We all received so many different graces for the different people. Last night David was out in the field praying his rosary and he said he had such a strong encounter of the Holy Spirit. He has bought and had blessed a dove medal that he is going to wear.

There are people outside right now yelling "Vicka, Vicka!" That pour woman.

Last night at Ivan's prayer group meeting there were a group of Irish teens behind me who stunk so badly. I never smeeled such strong body odor in my life. Of course I was thinking so badly of them. At mass this morning the Irish priest said a group of Irish kids had just walked across Europe from the English Channel and had just arrived in time for the prayers last night. See how you can't judge people! The priest also said that one of the girls had been cured of severe arthritis during the prayers.

The church is packed hour after hour in the morning for Mass. Croation Mass is 9:00, English at 10:00, Italian at 11:00. The Italians try to climb in the pews before we can even get out. The American priest here gave them heck yesterday and told them to stay out of the church until we were done. (See it's not all peace here in Medjugorje!) Then he repeated the message in Italian and they still did not listen.

Judy just got back from town. The other day she bought 12 of those 7 Our Father, 7 Hail Mary and 7 Glory Be rosaries. She had been woundering how she would explain to her relatives how to say them. Today a different shop owner (the one who's always giving free stuff) handed her a stack of prayer cards. She got back to the house, took them out of her bag and they were an explanation of how to say the 7 Our Father Rosaries. And there were exactly 12 of them.

This afternoon we had our final Mass in the chapel with Fr Terry. It was a chapel in a drug rehab place here run by an Italian nun: The priest presented all married couples with a crucifix and we renewed our marriage vows. This evening we had our picture taken with Vicka.Now I have to pack and I'm not happy about it.

See you at Home.

Love
Patti

P.S.
Ed says to tell you it's hot, the mosquitoes are bad and there are giant grass hoppers.


We are home now and the story continues --

Judy called from work. Her rosary chain turned from silver to gold while praying a rosary on the way to work.

David presented a rosary to his friend, Neal. Neal looked at him in amazement and said, "I dreamed somebody gave me a rosary this week!" (Strange dream for a teenage boy to have.)

And David, while packing for college, found an old Sunday school lesson on St. David of Wales. St. Davids symbol is a dove!

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